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Failure does not exist, it's just data.
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It's going to make you question a lot of things about yourself, if you're capable, if it's worth it.
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>> What do you successful people have that people who don't make it don't [music] have?
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>> They keep going even when it stops being exciting.
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[music] >> How do we stop comparing our timelines to everyone else's?
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>> Success does not have a finish line, so we can't compare something that does not exist.
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Once you believe you are better than anyone else, you're done.
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>> Carl Centauro, welcome to On Purpose.
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It's great to have you here.
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>> Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited.
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>> Carl, I've been such a fan of yours from afar.
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We don't know each other. We just met today.
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But I've been following your content.
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It's always direct, it's clear, the message is easy to understand, easy to apply.
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There are millions of people across the world that are following you, learning from you.
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And you just told me that the number one Google question about you is, is Carl Centauro AI?
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>> Well, I think we all in this room can confirm that I'm not. So, I love it. >> yet. I'm not sure yet.
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>> Is Jay Shetty doing the first hologram ever? >> No, no, no.
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I would not do an AI interview.
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>> So, yeah, I'm very much real. >> you feel?
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How does that make you feel when people are asking that question?
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>> so funny because I'm in the actual tech space. So, I develop softwares. I'm in an AI.
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And when they started asking me about these things, I'm like, it kind of makes sense, but at the same time as soon as I started posting more content, a lot of the people started realizing it was not.
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I still get a few questions here and there, but it was mostly about me coming into the space of social media because what I do is like the fun side of my life.
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What I actually do is tech.
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So, I came into this space and I understood it because no one had seen me before.
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And in this moment that we are, you don't know what's real or what's not.
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So, I kind of understood it, and that's the point that I understood that I had to go more into stories, show people a little bit here and there about me being real.
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Honestly, it was funny, and me being the first interview here, and I'm I'm super happy that people got to see that I'm a real person.
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>> [laughter] >> Absolutely.
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Talk to me about if someone listens to this episode today, what do you want them to walk away with?
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What do you want them to feel?
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How do you want them to change their life?
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>> To be honest, like just like the name of the podcast, purpose.
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I got into social media and everything that you see, I got into this space because I didn't want people to feel behind in life because of what they see.
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I feel like nowadays we can fuse very easily.
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And the men's side, I was talking about this the other day, if you are not flunting cash outside of Lamborghini and doing all these things that you see, you're behind.
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If you're a woman and you don't have a brick and bag and if you don't have, you know, a bouquet of roses that was out of a jet, oh my gosh, like I I don't have the right person.
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And that is not real life.
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I hated the romanticism that we're seeing in entrepreneurship just because real life is not doing a Canva template and saying to people, "Do this course and you'll be financially free."
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And then people believe that, and that's not real life.
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We all have struggles, we all go through things in our lives, even if it's relationships or work.
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I want people that every time they listen to something, it's purpose.
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You're not behind, you're on track, you're not on a race with anyone.
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And that's why I love so much everything that you portray, and that's why I wanted to come here so much because this is real life.
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And I feel like the type of content that we put out, everyone relates in a different way.
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I feel like we're all in the same boat.
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But we all have different destinations.
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At the end of the day, we all have problems.
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In this room, we all have a problem.
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And it's not rare, but it's just how we can get support from now online.
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So beautiful things that I follow, a lot of the guests that have been here and have a voice.
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And I feel like we all have a voice and we all have a story, and if we can put it out there, and people can relate in their own way, I think that's the purpose of life.
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>> You spoke about timelines there.
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You spoke about this idea of not being behind.
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How do we stop comparing our timeline to everyone else around us when it feels like we're so overexposed, like you said, to the cars, the Birkin bag, the bank balance, the jet, the whatever it may be?
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Now, you know, before you'd compare yourself to the 20 people in your class at school.
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Now, you can see what 20,000 people across the world are doing.
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How do we stop comparing our timeline to everyone else's? >> There's no race.
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They made us believe that there's an invisible finish line.
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And success does not have a finish line.
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So, we can't compare something that does not exist.
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I'm going to tell you a little bit about me.
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When I graduated from high school, I did not go with the traditional path, let's say.
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I saw all my friends going to college, doing all this college life, and I knew that college wasn't for me. It was in my path.
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And at first, it was when social media just started popping off. And I remember posting.
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And I remember my so-called friends talking about me in group chats and stuff.
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And that's the thing that a lot of people are afraid to go out there because of the group. What will they say?
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And I was like, "What will they say about what? It's your life.
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Let them talk for a little bit."
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Then, when you make it, everyone knows you. Everyone is your friend.
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So, what I'd like to say is like there is no race.
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There is no invisible finish line.
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You cannot compare to something that does not exist.
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When you follow your own path, when you follow your own passion, a lot of people will not understand. >> Mhm. >> And that is for sure.
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When you're doing something different, people will tell you you're crazy.
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People will tell you that's not the right path to go.
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And it's because they're talking about their insecurities, not about the reality of what you can portray.
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So, when I started on social media, I remember myself putting out there like years ago because I had an account, it was all about different things that weren't hot now.
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It was about fashion and trips and stuff.
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And I remember all these people that I thought were my friends.
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And if someone's listening to to this and thinks that their friends are going to talk about you because you're online, they're going to talk about you. And that's beautiful.
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And if you get four likes and all the people that you thought they were going to support you and that you thought they were going to buy your product, you thought they were going to put a like on your new page for your brand and they don't, that is showing you who your true circle is.
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That is showing you that you are doing something that they are not willing to do, which is expose yourself, which is putting yourself out there.
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And that is bravery to the max.
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And I think that today seeing all these things about comparing ourselves online about people that are younger than ourselves cuz a lot of people are like, "Oh my goodness, he's 20 and he's already a millionaire."
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Well, that's perfectly fine.
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KFC started when he was 75 or 70 something.
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And then you see Vera Wang, she decided her first like we've seen this.
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There's no timeline for success.
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So, if you're patient, I was just telling to my team here and I was talking to them about this and I'm like, "If you're not in a rush about posting, at first you're not going to get likes." That's fine.
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If you're not in a rush, you're going to get there.
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So, there's no comparison about you being younger or being older.
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My parents are 60s and they're reinventing themselves.
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They're like, "I want to do something different." They're 60s.
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I started young when I was 18 doing political things with no experience at all and now I'm about to turn 29 and people are like, "Oh my gosh, you're a baby."
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I'm like, "Yes, but during this 10 years I didn't compare myself to anyone else and just follow my path, follow my gut and I will have got the chance to work with presidential campaigns, Fortune 500 CEOs and it was my path.
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So, if you still want to do it, get the advice from people that are online, but don't compare to it.
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Just get it and go out, put yourself out there.
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>> Any successful person I've interviewed or talked to, this idea of knowing how to deal with whatever one thinks of you is huge.
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It's It's one of the biggest things.
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I was sharing yesterday last night.
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I was just mentioning to you that I was interviewing Emma Greed for her book launch here in London at the Hackney Empire and she's from East London.
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I'm from London, so it was a really really special feeling and I shared this quote that I've shared many times, but every time I say it it has such an impact on me and and everyone who hears it.
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It's from Charles Horton Cooley. He said it in 1890.
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And the fact he said it in 1890 tells us everything.
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He said the challenge today is I'm not what I think I am.
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I'm not what you think I am.
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I am what I think you think I am. >> I love that.
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And it's >> that quote is so brilliant statement.
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Yeah, he's saying that we live in a perception of a perception of ourselves.
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So we think if everyone thinks I'm smart, then I feel smart.
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But if everyone else thinks I'm weak, then I feel weak. >> You know what?
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I heard this and it's called the Marilyn Monroe effect.
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So she showed up herself how she wanted to be portrayed.
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So she was an orphan and she didn't have the means to be who she was supposed to be.
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So I'm like if you want to be Hollywood actress, if you want to do all these things and you think you don't have these things, Marilyn showed up as the person she wanted to be.
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And I love that because once you believe in yourself so much, you're going to make it.
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Like I always say, you're going to make it.
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I didn't have the contact, I didn't have the money to do what I think and I just worked so hard and believed in myself so hard in the talents and the capabilities I had to that it start showing and that's when people start calling you.
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So it's just about believing in yourself so much.
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>> What are the top three traits you believe successful people have that people who don't make it don't have?
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>> They always ask me what's the difference with the 1%?
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They keep going even when it stops being exciting. >> Mhm.
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>> A lot of people start. They get the domain. They get the username.
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They get excited, do a some Canva post and then nobody likes. Nobody buys. The idea is not good.
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The idea is not the problem.
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It's that you're not patient enough.
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And then you have to be honest with yourself.
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And I think the honesty is that you have to tell yourself that it's not going to be easy.
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That it's going to require a lot of effort.
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And once you're honest with that, you have to be on a track that your vision has to be so strong, but the path to getting there has to be flexible. >> Mhm.
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>> So, I feel like the 1% is always patient, is always honest, and the vision has to be so strong, but the path to getting there has to be flexible. >> Mhm.
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>> Once you understand that, you're going to understand that your timing is not the timing that you want.
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I took 10 years to get where I am.
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So, when people see like, "Oh, she's an overnight success."
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Overnight success does exist after you work 10 years with nobody watching and nobody clapping for you, that's when it shows. >> Mhm.
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>> So, be patient, be honest with yourself, and be very stubborn with your vision, but the path to get there flexible. >> Yeah.
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>> So, that's the that's the 1% difference.
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Once it stops being exciting, be so repetitive about the boring stuff that you're going to make it. >> Mhm.
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>> Because everyone thinks a success is exciting.
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To get here, to do this podcast, the logistics behind it.
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This is the fun part when we get to talk.
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But in any brand, in any any business, any relationship, the boring stuff is what makes everything stick together.
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In a relationship, I love talking about relationships because I feel like it's been so romanticized about things that a relationship is a thing that you work on every single day.
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In a business, you work on relationships with your team, with your employees, even with yourself.
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So, it's a matter of just repeating the boring stuff over and over again and getting better at it. >> Mhm.
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>> And listening to other people.
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Also, one more thing that we're talking about that is listening.
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I feel like once you think you know it all, you know nothing.
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That's the kind of thing.
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Once you believe you are better than anyone else, you're done.
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In my thing, in my company, what we do every Monday, I'm the last one to speak because if you speak first as a boss, as a CEO, then everyone's going to agree with you because they might be afraid not to give you the the reason yes, you're you're good. Yes, the yes, yes, yes.
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I don't want yes people around me.
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I want people to make me better.
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And that happens with relationships.
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You want your partner to make you better.
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Right now I'm in a beautiful relationship that has make me a better entrepreneur, a better woman, a better because they raise you up.
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It's not that you're comfortable, but they make you better.
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I have beautiful friends who want me to succeed.
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So, it's a matter of, you know, I feel just listening, the power of listening, not knowing it all.
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That's how you learn until the last day of your life if you listen, you learn.
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And you get to know people better.
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About about the people who love to talk more as well because people talk too much, you know that.
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They're they're the ones who usually, not always, but are the least and have the least to portray.
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>> You just reminded me of Eric Schmidt, the former CEO of Google.
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He had a principle that he called don't listen to the hippo in the room. >> Love that.
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>> And hippo stands for highest paid person's opinion. >> Love that.
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>> And he said the same thing.
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He said if I speak in a leadership meeting or the most successful or wealthy person in the room speaks, everyone around them will just agree.
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And so, it's better to allow everyone else.
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One thing that you mentioned that really stands out to me, you said what differentiates the winners from the people who don't make it is that they keep working when it's not exciting.
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And I think that's where the follow your passion movement went wrong because people had this belief that if I follow my passion or if I do my purpose, everything's going to be easy.
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I'm going to wake up happy every day.
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I'm absolutely going to love everything I do.
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Not realizing that actually if you follow your passion, there's going to be lots of days where you're doing things you don't want to do, where things are not exciting, where you're not winning, where things are not working out.
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And you're spot-on that being able to work when things are uncomfortable is what differentiates the top 1%.
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And so, how do you keep going?
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How do you keep trying and experimenting when things feel slow and they're not going your way?
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How do we stay patient to your first point?
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>> So, I like giving this example.
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When you go to the gym the first time, everything hurts and you see nothing but just internal pain.
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And then if you keep going, you start seeing a little bit here and there with muscle, you start seeing here and there a tighten. That's the same effect.
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Following your purpose and your passion is hard because you're not going the traditional way, right?
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And when you're not going the traditional way, it's going to hurt.
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It's going to make you question a lot of things about yourself, if you're capable, if it's worth it, why it's not working, why am I doing wrong, is it a bad and it's not.
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But once [snorts] you surpass that pain, that internal pain, you start seeing results and it's quiet.
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Success is quiet at first.
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It's not easy because you are not exposed.
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It's just you yourself in a room maybe with a laptop and not a team or anything.
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And at first, all entrepreneurs know, you are your own PA, your own personal assistant who's responding to emails.
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You are the marketing team.
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You are sales, you're everything. And that is fine.
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That's how we all started.
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But once you believe in the process of that you're creating something inside of you as well during that change because I feel like what success really is.
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If they ask me, "What is success?"
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Success is who you're becoming in the process.
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Is the resilience you're building.
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It is the path to the top you're going to be losing weight because to get there you're going to lose friends.
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For sure you're going to lose friends because you're not the same person.
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You're going to not be able to speak about the same things on a dinner table and that is fine.
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You're going to maybe lose family members who didn't believe in you.
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And that is fine as well.
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And you're going to lose a part of yourself that you might not notice because in that silence of not noticing changes, you're changing.
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And that is already success.
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So on the way to the top I always say the top is not closed.
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People at the top will want to help you.
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I heard a friend of mine saying a lot of people aren't helping me.
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And I'm like you don't need a lot of people.
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You don't need a lot of people. You just need one.
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If you have a one person who grabs you by the hand tells you I'm going to I'm going to help you.
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I'm going to introduce you to someone. That might be enough.
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You don't need an army of people to succeed.
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You need first to believe in yourself and then just one person to introduce you.
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So the top is not closed.
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The thing is that the top is cold.
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People were not expecting to be that cold cuz when you get to the top it gets lonely sometimes.
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Because since you lost a lot of things during the process of getting there it's a new you.
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And at the top there are fewer voices.
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So that means that you have more time to think.
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As a CEO you have it's you deciding.
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You don't get to run to other people lots of times.
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So that's when your mind has to be very clear on listening on who you are and being so sure that any decision that you make either it turns into good or bad it's you at the top who got there who made all decisions to get there and you're going to be fine.
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So I feel like the same thing.
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Once you understand that there's going to be silence, that you're going to lose people, that you're going to grieve an old part of yourself, you're ready.
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And you're the climb is slow and you lose people, but it's worth it.
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>> I always say to people you'll get to where you want in life, just not in the way you imagine it.
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>> 100% >> Because all of us have a visual of what the path looks like.
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And then reality next to it, which doesn't look like that at all.
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And then we start thinking, well, this can't be the right path because it doesn't look like what I envisioned.
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It doesn't look like the idea I had in my mind.
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And reality is saying, "No, no, no, this is what it's going to look like."
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And we just keep debating. We keep fighting it.
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And then you don't take the step forward in reality because it doesn't look like the one in your dream.
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>> In my case, I started so different from where I am now. >> about that.
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>> So, I graduated from high school like I mentioned, and I wanted to be what it was It was a blogger in that time cuz it was like an actual blog.
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>> [snorts] >> And I started posting, and at first it was like nothing.
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And it was kind of tough cuz all of my friends were talking about me.
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And "Ooh, she thinks she's an influ-" That wasn't an influencer.
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It was "Ooh, she thinks she's a blogger, you know?"
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But that's so cool when they underestimate you.
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I love being underestimated because you get to build quieter. You don't have pressure.
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You don't have to prove anything to anyone. >> to fail anyway. >> Yes. So, why not do it?
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>> It's a good place to be, yeah. >> Yeah. I love it.
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So, when I started posting these things later on today they all are my friends. They all know me.
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And they all want something. That's the path.
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When I started, I thought it was going to be into fashion.
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But once I started getting invited into Fashion Week I understood the power of technology and where it was going.
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So, I started calling all these brands that were inviting me to Fashion Week, and I started doing their social media accounts.
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So, once I understood the power of social media, I went into my first presidential campaign.
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I managed my first presidential campaign.
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Then it led me to a second one, third.
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And I'm starting my fourth one.
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So, if you told me that I would end up in politics, and then that led to cybersecurity, me developing softwares in cybersecurity I would have never believed it.
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Or me being a political strategist.
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Never would have thought in a second.
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So, if you told me that by age 29, 29 I would have been divorced, I would have never believed it. And that is fine.
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I remember when I got divorced, it was something like, "Ooh, uh she's so young and she got divorced."
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And I always love to talk about it because it's not a taboo thing.
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Like, I got the most amicable divorce ever.
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It was all good, but it's just things that happen.
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And life will just throw things at you that you're not prepared.
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But, the resilience comes through the hardest moments of your life.
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And in that moment, through all the things that I've been through, and now I started into this path of social media of what I do, this is the fun things.
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I get messages from all around the world about people me changing their lives, which I would have never envisioned it, right?
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So, I always say to to the people I coach and to people I talk to, do you.
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Don't do any Everyone else is taken, right?
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I've heard that the phrase, you know, everyone's taken, just be you.
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And in my case, I'm young, but I've lived so much.
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Even my Spotify account says that I'm 63 years old.
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[laughter] And I totally believe it. I'm an old soul.
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>> You mean you mean when it does the Spotify rap, it tells you what you listen to, yeah? >> exactly.
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I'm like, okay, yeah, this makes sense.
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Exactly, this makes sense.
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So, it's just a matter of like, do you. Do whatever.
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Dress if you if you want to dress in a certain way, dress in a certain way.
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You want to go a different path that is not the typical one? Do it.
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And don't criticize others.
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It's so important because that energy that you're portraying by criticizing or doing, it's not coming back to you in a good way.
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I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, and she said, "Oh, I heard this friend of ours had a baby, and she thinks she's an a mom influencer."
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I thought I'm like, "That's so cool."
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But, the way she said it, and it's those things that I hear it all the time. She thinks she is.
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Oh, she thinks she's a singer.
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She thinks she's a designer. She is a designer.
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She might not be at the top yet, but she's going to get there.
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She's not the top influencer, but she's going to get there in her own timing.
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So, the way that we portray words is so important because if someone has blue hair and you are staring at her because she has blue hair, let her.
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It's just like the Mel Robbins thing, right?
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That's like let them let her.
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If they want to do something different that you are not engaged with let them be. You do you.
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You focus on yourself so much that your energy I've heard this over and over.
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Successful people cannot criticize others because they don't have the time for it.
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They're so focused on being better of For example, I feel like us sitting here.
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I'm happy about your success.
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I'm happy about you having a production company. I'm truly happy.
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Like when I saw it, I called Paige, who's been so wonderful.
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Like Paige, if you're listening to this.
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It was so good because I'm happy for it because I know what it takes to get to certain places.
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And when people read headlines and when we put something out there, it's not to brag.
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I always say when people put a vacation there, it's not to brag.
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If people put something in their social media, sometimes it's not to brag.
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It's sometimes a way of saying, you know, the times they said no to a lot of things to get there. >> Mhm.
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>> So many times they had to cry themselves to sleep to finally purchase the car they've been saving for.
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So a lot of times we read social media in the ways that we want to read.
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If it's with envy, we can twist envy in a way.
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If you're jealous about something, let it be for good.
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Let it be for if he can do it, I can do it. >> Yeah.
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>> But not in a way of like, oh, he has it then I it's not for me or I cannot have it.
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There's room for everyone.
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The world can give so much.
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The doors are not closed to just do you be happy with your and read the things differently. Be happy for others.
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Truly, we are in a society that is so jealous, so confused because they don't have it.
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And I know there's tough times.
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But in the toughest times, it's when people can arise.
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They can become the person they want to become.
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I remember one time I had like $12 to my name and I was looking at my bank account and I could have had it >> Where where you at that time?
23:02
>> It was when I just started and I needed to do like my first website for my It was when e-commerce was starting booming.
23:10
And I remember that YouTubers, that's one of the one of the things they were like, "You're going to become a billionaire if you do this product."
23:15
And Amazon FBA was called, I think, or something like that.
23:20
And I was like, "Ooh, I'm going to get into e-commerce."
23:23
So, I saw all these YouTubers.
23:23
It was like 12 years ago. And I got into it.
23:26
I paid this guy to do my website.
23:29
And he basically got my card. I was naive.
23:32
He I gave him my card and basically he took like all the money. Didn't receive anything.
23:36
And in that moment, I understood the power of anything like like trust.
23:43
Like I trust in the guy, it failed. It was a lesson.
23:48
And I opened my bank account and I feel like we've all been there when you look at your bank account and you're like, "Oh my gosh, the overdraft fee."
23:53
And all these things, right?
23:54
And there was two options.
23:56
Either I sat there and cried or I started to work.
23:59
That's how we got into tech.
24:01
I learned how to code my own website because I didn't have money to pay someone to do my website.
24:07
And I realized later on how I got into tech was by a moment of failure.
24:13
Which I love to say failure does not exist, it's just data.
24:15
It's just giving you more information.
24:17
And in those moments where you're like, "What am I going to do with my life?" >> Yeah.
24:22
>> And a lot of things I feel like people right now in in the world are struggling with financial situations like ever before.
24:30
And in those moments, I want you to know that I feel like all successful people have been there. >> Yeah. Yeah.
24:36
>> Like it's not easy to get to where you want to get.
24:38
And on my way here, I remember that a lot of people think they see the car or they see the bag or the watch and they they want that.
24:46
And I'm like, "It's fine. You You can get there."
24:50
But real success is not assets.
24:50
Real success is who you become in the process.
24:54
And a real success once you get there is who you share it with. >> Yeah.
24:58
>> Because once you get there it's like who I want to share the news.
25:02
Before I came here, I called my partner. I'm like I'm so excited.
25:04
He was like oh you you look so beautiful. Congratulations.
25:07
I'm like they're happy for me.
25:09
I called my friend and she's like oh my gosh I'm so excited for you. I brought here my team.
25:13
They're so excited for me.
25:15
It's who you share it with.
25:16
And I would say in friendship, if there's a slight chance of envy or jealousy, the the friendship is gone.
25:25
Because they are with you.
25:25
And the second they're competing with you, it's broken.
25:30
People who are around you have to be happy about your success because they know their timing is coming.
25:36
They're following their own timeline and they're happy for you.
25:40
And that's so important who you share success with.
25:45
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25:49
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25:53
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26:04
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26:14
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26:20
Yeah, I'm so glad [snorts] you brought up these more underlying things when it comes to success, especially when you talk about not criticizing others because I feel like as soon as we hear about someone doing something and if we're aware of it and they're doing it a little bit better than us everyone gets really really critical and we're being critical because we're being competitive.
26:41
We don't even agree with what we're saying.
26:42
We're just saying it because oh it's uncomfortable to hear that someone's doing it better than me, that someone's getting it right compared to me.
26:50
And I think what that does is it creates a culture of criticism in our mind where now I think about this all the time.
26:55
My friends who are doing well on social media will never laugh at someone else on social media. >> No.
27:02
>> They'll only send me the good stuff that other people are doing.
27:04
They'll say, "Hey, did you see this update?
27:05
Did you see what this person just launched?
27:07
Did you see what this person invested in?"
27:10
And all of my friends who are doing badly on social media will always send me a video of someone to laugh at them.
27:15
They'll be like, "Oh, did you see what Oh, look at the Let's laugh at this."
27:17
And it's fascinating to me how you get lost in that world and you feel better about yourself.
27:22
So, what I found is if you're doing well, you feel better when other people are doing better because it shows you there's more opportunity. >> 100%.
27:30
>> But when you're doing badly, you feel happier when other people are doing worse because that makes you feel like a bit of an ego boost.
27:35
And so, I think it's such a good tell as to whether you're focused on yourself or whether you're not because of the critical piece.
27:43
The other thing that you mentioned that really stood out to me is this idea of sharing it with people.
27:50
Earlier, you talked about the idea of being lonely at the top.
27:51
And I think people are also lonely at the top because they don't know how to build the friendships that you're talking about because you can't control whether your friend's envious of you or not.
28:01
You You can't control that.
28:03
How do you maintain good relationships on your way up so that you don't get to the top and then go, "Oh, I want to make friends now" because once you're at the top, you don't know why someone wants to be friends with you. >> Exactly.
28:14
>> So, how do you maintain great friendships on the way up without knowing if someone's envious of you or not?
28:20
>> I think that you change your circle.
28:22
It's going to happen because people you're doing business with usually end up being your friends.
28:27
And the old circle just stays where they are and not because it's wrong, but because their lives are different.
28:31
And if you're doing something non-conventional, you're hanging out with non-conventional people with minds that don't see the impossible, right?
28:39
So, I think you just change of circle.
28:42
And that happens in life.
28:42
Sometimes your group chat went silent, someone had a baby, someone got married, someone went abroad, and the group go silent.
28:47
And then, that's just life.
28:50
The other day I was at a dinner and I heard them talk badly about you.
28:53
And the response was like, "That doesn't matter.
28:56
What matters to me is why they felt comfortable doing in your presence if you're supposed to be my friend." So, that's how you know. >> Say that again. That's good.
29:05
>> If someone's talking about you and they come to you, a friend comes to you and says, "I was at a dinner and they were talking about the about you."
29:13
The thing is not why they were talking about me badly.
29:15
It's because why they were so comfortable talking about me in your presence if you're supposed to be my friend. Right?
29:23
So, I love that because if it's a true friend, they're not going to dare to talk about badly about you. So, that's the thing. I think circles changes.
29:31
I feel like in my life, my my circles have changed multiple times, and that's just life.
29:35
That's just the circle of life.
29:38
And if you're married, sometimes your partner's friends are going to be your friends.
29:43
If you get divorced, maybe it splits.
29:44
If you go to college, it's your college friends for that time.
29:47
Then, you depart from that city and then you have a new city and you become new friends.
29:53
So, I always talk about being an immigrant as well and following your dreams.
29:57
Cuz I feel like in a way, everyone that pursues something usually leaves home.
30:03
And when you get there, you're praying that the lease you had is good enough.
30:07
And if you're reading a yogurt flavor that you know the brand is good, and then you make your first set of friends.
30:14
And they are starting to show you the city, and then they become your person in that city, and then you're pursuing a dream.
30:20
So, it's just like I feel like it changes.
30:22
Wherever you go, whoever you want.
30:24
Sometimes it's who can take you there. >> Yeah. >> Right?
30:28
And you're hanging with them because you see that the possibilities.
30:32
So, it's just a matter of like life.
30:32
I feel like it's just like the circle of life.
30:37
>> Yeah, I think that's fair.
30:37
I I feel really fortunate that I've got friends who I've been friends with for probably about 20, 25 years are still in my life.
30:45
And you're spot-on the reason that we can all still be friends is because I hopefully am not an arrogant douche and and they're extremely [laughter] and they're extremely non-envious and I think those two things work really, really well together when exactly to your point earlier that I have a great group of friends who aren't envious, are not competitive, are not, you know, trying to take me down.
31:07
And then on the other side, you're absolutely right, your circle changes and you meet new people that understand your new life.
31:14
And I think that's what it is.
31:16
I think people think when your circle changes it makes it feel like, "Oh, because you're doing better, you want to be around people that are doing better." It's actually not that.
31:22
It's actually people understanding you at different stages of your life, who have seen you in different phases, who understand the pain you go through.
31:30
So, I have lots of friends in my industry.
31:34
The best thing is we can all relate to each other when we're going through the same things. >> Exactly.
31:39
>> And my friends from back home, they've seen the full picture of me and so I love that, too, because they know me deeper than anyone else on the planet because they've seen me from day one. >> Exactly.
31:50
>> So, that idea that your friends change and your circle changes is valuable at the same time as I encourage people to be like, "You don't have to leave everyone behind." >> No.
32:00
>> And and you can open up the door for other people as well. >> 100%.
32:02
There was this beautiful story.
32:02
>> 100%. There was this beautiful story. I met one of the survivors of the Andes crash and they were set of a group of friends who were leaving for a rugby tournament and the plane crashes and I think if someone's seen the show on the movie on
32:16
Apple cuz it's great, I invite them to watch it, but I I was talking to one of the survivors and he said was something beautiful that takes me out of like bad days because I'm like, "You're a group of friends who crashed in the snow, a lot of them died there and you stay there for 72 days stranded in snow. And I'm like, how did you pull through?"
32:32
And I'm like, how did you pull through?"
32:34
And he's like, "All of us friends was important to see one good thing every day.
32:41
And he said something beautiful.
32:41
I'm like, are you saying this because it sounds good?
32:43
And he's like, no, because when you're in the snow and there's no sound and you just see plain white, you find beauty in things that you didn't understand before.
32:52
He said, while they were listening like at the rain or the snow falling, they're like, God is present.
33:00
And if God made all of this, that means he's here with us. And I find it beautiful.
33:05
I'm truly believer in God and I feel like once you leave everything to him, everything starts becoming beautiful.
33:12
And in that point when he told me that in 72 days stranded in the snow, they saw one beautiful thing. >> 72 days?
33:19
>> 72 days in the cold with no food. Like it was bad.
33:22
But then I asked him something.
33:24
I'm like, how did you know you're going to survive?
33:26
And he said this, because no one told us it was impossible.
33:32
And that is something that you can take to you every morning of your life.
33:33
You want to embark into a new chapter of your life and they tell you it's impossible.
33:38
The market saturated, by the way, the market saturated was invented by someone with low creativity.
33:44
>> [laughter] >> To be honest. >> So true.
33:46
>> Uh but it's just you believe in yourself because usually people put their own fears into our own ideas and our own dreams.
33:53
So that's why we believe in them and we think we cannot make it.
33:55
So when he said that, I truly believe in it so much because he said, what if we would have been stranded with a lot of people around it, the odds of everyone saying, oh, they're not going to make it.
34:04
Oh, what is 72 days in the cold?
34:05
They're not going to make it.
34:07
Would have been higher, right?
34:08
So he said, nobody told us that it was impossible and seen one good thing in your life.
34:13
And I truly believe in that.
34:16
I I believe in that on the worst days that I have, I find one good thing.
34:20
And once you find that one good thing, you push through.
34:23
You wake up one more day be like, one more day to fix any problem that I have.
34:28
One more day to try again.
34:30
One more day to become the person I want to become. One more day. One day at a time.
34:36
That's why I don't believe in 5-year plans.
34:37
And 5-year plans with the advance of technology everything that doesn't exist.
34:41
You know how I hire people? It's the funniest thing.
34:44
I love resumes, that's all good. Love that.
34:46
But, I usually take them to a smoothie ride.
34:48
I take them with me to a smoothie.
34:50
And I love how they treat people.
34:55
I see how they treat the waiter or the person at the cashier.
34:57
I see decisiveness on ordering.
34:59
They're going to take to like forever or you know.
35:01
And then while we're sitting in a casual environment, I ask questions about life, right?
35:08
And when you get to know that person's going to be part of your team, being good, being a good person, kind heart, honest, and has values, the resume will follow.
35:18
But if you don't have that as a person, the rest doesn't matter.
35:21
You can have Ivy League people on your team, that doesn't mean anything. But they're kind people.
35:26
I I hired the other day someone It was impressive.
35:28
I was doing this speech in Dubai.
35:32
And then this guy had come from India.
35:35
And [snorts] he didn't know how to speak English.
35:37
So, he wrote on a piece of paper something and he showed it to me.
35:41
Once I was doing a meet and greet, and it was basically him saying that he was in tech and that he had saved the last amount of money and asked his mom to come to Dubai to meet me and had a chance to work at my company.
35:55
And I thought that was so brave because he didn't have the language.
35:59
He spent the last cent to come and and see me and he was taking a chance.
36:03
And that's what I love the three C's of life.
36:06
Challenges, choices, and change.
36:09
Challenges, we all have them.
36:11
And life will throw at us every single day.
36:13
But then you have the chance to make a choice.
36:19
And once you have that, this guy, I hired him on the spot.
36:22
He showed me what he I thought it was so brave what he had done.
36:26
So, when I see people that have everything and oh, and he had Tourette's syndrome.
36:31
So, when he started talking to me, he was like having a a situation and showing with a piece of paper trembling.
36:37
And I thought it was so brave because the meaning of being brave is not that you're fearless.
36:45
>> [snorts] >> Is that even though you have fear, you're going to go for it. >> Mhm.
36:50
>> And that moment he was so brave and I just gave him a hug and I'm like, come come Monday to my office.
36:55
I'll pay the hotels, don't worry about it. I'll take care of it.
36:58
His mom just passed away now and he was a big chance that he was in my team.
37:02
So, it's just a matter of like people if you have air in your lungs if you get the chance to wake up one more day, you can do it. You can totally do it.
37:15
I believe in that so much.
37:17
I have such amazing people. I didn't get here alone.
37:20
Like nobody gets there alone.
37:20
You have people that have helped you.
37:22
When this guy told me that he has survived in this situation and seen good thing and his friendships.
37:28
Oh, and one more thing he told me.
37:30
He said that between all them, they couldn't complain. >> Mhm.
37:34
>> And I thought it was so beautiful because in our everyday, we complain so much about dumb things that if you use that energy to complain, you're going another way.
37:42
It's it's the wrong way to go.
37:43
And he said that during the snow, it was a no complaining, loving each other, seeing one good thing and knowing that nobody told them that it was impossible to survive.
37:50
So, in your everyday, I feel like what he said is like nobody can tell you you're not capable of doing something.
37:56
See one beautiful thing every single day and do not complain. >> That's a great story.
38:02
That's a That's a great experience.
38:04
You said we can watch the Is it a movie or a doc? >> a movie.
38:07
It's called The Society of Snow. >> Oh, okay.
38:10
>> It's fantastic and it >> Wow.
38:12
>> The scenes are so >> It's true obviously. It's a real story.
38:15
>> you see that, oh my gosh, you see like how how did they actually survive? But that's the thing.
38:18
I feel like those those type of situations when people go through that.
38:23
It was just like the Hudson River crash.
38:25
And I heard this beautiful story.
38:25
The pilot said, "One engine is out, the other one is out as well."
38:30
This guy goes, "I realized in that moment when the plane was crashing that I haven't loved my wife enough, that I didn't have to spend time with my friends."
38:38
All these things that you are waiting to do someday. >> Wow. >> Right?
38:42
And that's like we we have our planes crashing every single day.
38:46
Sometimes we feel like we're down and under, but that's the moment of wake-up call.
38:49
That's the moment when you take a deep breath.
38:51
I I like myself when I'm feeling down doing the 10-second rule, and it's just counting myself 10, 9, 8.
38:57
Even like rockets, they count backwards because they're going to go up.
39:00
So, I feel myself like that even when I don't feel like I count myself 10, 9, 8, 7.
39:04
And once I get to 1, I'm up and I'm doing.
39:07
So, it's little rules here and there I place myself, and nobody taught me.
39:11
Another thing I like to call is the rule of nines.
39:13
So, people who like productivity tips, I put like a Tic Tac board, and it's like nine squares.
39:17
And if you just put nine squares throughout your day or throughout your week, and you cross them, the mind loves completion.
39:23
So, if you cross it out physically, I love tech, but I like some things physically to cross it out on post-it notes and just cross it out.
39:31
Your brain loves completion, and you feel like you're advancing more than if you think that your brain can hold everything together.
39:37
It can't, but once you feel completion, it's fantastic.
39:39
So, certain things that I've learned, it's like when when you're in school and they put a happy a happy face sticker, and you're like, "Yay!" And you're happy.
39:45
When we're adults, we don't have that.
39:47
So, we have to give that to ourselves, and we have to give the grace of us trying. >> Mhm.
39:53
>> Nobody gave us the blueprint of life.
39:56
I think that people made us believe that we have another day, that we have more time.
40:00
Time to love, time to forgive, more time to try that thing that we want to start.
40:06
But life life is moments.
40:09
And we think that we own those moments, but we don't.
40:13
And that's why we have to make the most of it.
40:14
And at the end of the day, when when our time comes, I don't want to be able to say I wish I had.
40:21
Because when the time comes, I want to say I tried. I loved. I did it my way.
40:31
And the invisible footprint that you're leaving in someone else's life, that's what matters.
40:37
I heard the other day that when you die, men especially, get their first set of roses or a bouquet of flowers.
40:45
And that was beautiful in a way because why do we say all these things when people die?
40:48
Why do we hand them a set of flowers when we can do it when we're alive?
40:53
They said that two times that people are gathered in your life, all important people in your life are either at your wedding or at your funeral. Right?
41:02
And I thought that is sad in a way.
41:05
Because real life Real life is trying. Real life is failing.
41:09
I don't believe in failure.
41:11
It's just data, but let's call it failure.
41:14
I believe in the power that we have as humans to grab each other's hands and be better.
41:18
Right now in this time of our lives, we see more division than ever.
41:23
And we see division because we don't understand and when we don't understand something, it's easier to criticize. It's easier to hate.
41:32
And nowadays, with the media, with the world and what's going on, I believe in the unity.
41:38
I believe that we're separated by things that should never be separated.
41:43
And I love that if we can get the message of just unity, that we're all humans.
41:47
Under this skin, we are all bones. We're all the same.
41:51
And I believe as humans, we can give each other the hand of love and the power of sincerity and the power of You know what? I can help you.
42:00
And if you need someone, I will call you and check in on your friends.
42:02
There's so much loneliness. It's a new epidemic. It's a new pandemic. Loneliness.
42:09
And especially with economic situation as well as like people are not happy and able to have kids and now that I work in the political space as well and when you ask someone, "Oh, why are you not having babies?"
42:18
It's not because they don't want to, because maybe, you know, they can't afford.
42:21
People who are lonely because they got divorced or they're in depression and I do believe that now, especially now, we can come together as humans, not as political parties, not as race, not as nations, but as humans.
42:36
The other day I was sitting at a table where there were Christians, where there were Jews, where there were each one of literally Arabs, Muslims, like it was it was beautiful.
42:48
And I told them, "Do you realize there's one of each religion?" And we can all talk.
42:56
Because we can all listen to each other.
42:58
And then it's beautiful, but now that I I've been moving around in Ubers, the the other day my Uber driver asked me about my religion. He was Muslim.
43:08
And I asked him about his.
43:10
And as soon as I got off the Uber, he said, "Inshallah, ma'am.
43:11
I hope your day is beautiful."
43:15
And I thought it was beautiful he was praying in his culture and his and it's beautiful.
43:22
And I told him, "God bless you."
43:24
So, the moment that we understand each other as humans, not as political parties, not as anything else that the media can portray and we just see each other as human beings, I think that the moment that we're sitting at the table, it's a table that should be everywhere around the world.
43:37
It's because you listen because you understand.
43:39
So, the moment you start listening to more people, you understand more.
43:45
And getting your own opinion.
43:46
>> It's so interesting now because I feel like we're listening to more people than ever before, but we're not hearing them. >> Exactly.
43:54
>> Right, we're not actually hearing them because there's so much noise.
43:58
And today we have access to more cultures, more countries, more opinions than ever before, but no No actually hearing anyone anymore because you're just filtering it through your own lens.
44:10
>> Because you feel that your opinion is so set in stone that it becomes your identity. >> Yeah, absolutely.
44:16
It's because we'd rather be right than have peace. >> Exactly. >> Yeah.
44:20
>> 100% that's why when you listen to someone truly is like what you just said is that I feel like more and more today with with politics or all around the world is that you feel that's your identity.
44:31
And that's not your identity.
44:31
And once you understand more about situations and we have more people talking about free press let's say more more information different ways that you can get your information.
44:40
You can understand but any political party cannot be your identity. >> Mhm.
44:45
>> Your identity is is something completely different.
44:47
It's who you are on your everyday who you're becoming to for a better person.
44:51
And the other day I found this beautiful story that I told that there are three genies and they decided where to hide happiness from humans.
44:57
And the one genie goes, "You know what?
44:59
Let's hide it at the bottom of the ocean."
45:01
And the other goes, "You know what?
45:02
No, they're going to build a submarine and they're going to find it." Yeah, you're right.
45:05
The other one says, "Let's put it at the top of the mountain."
45:08
He says, "No, you're going to learn and put equipment and they're going to climb and find it."
45:11
And the last genie says, "Why don't we hide it inside them?
45:15
They were never going to dare to find it there."
45:18
And I thought it was so funny because it's true.
45:19
Cuz we're seeking happiness externally and we've been taught that because since we're little if it's not an applause it's not valid.
45:27
When people say, "Let's take a picture and post it because if not it didn't happen." >> Mhm.
45:33
>> You know what I love when I take a picture that I'm never going to post because it made me happy. >> best. That's the best, yeah.
45:39
>> It's the moment that you understand what's for you.
45:40
The other day my my partner took a picture of me and I'm like, "Oh my gosh, I look horrible."
45:44
He's like, "No, to me you look beautiful."
45:45
No, and I want to remember this moment and it's about moments.
45:47
It's not about externally.
45:50
So when this story about the genies just remind me of it's true. Happiness is inside you.
45:55
The purpose is inside you. It never left.
45:57
You just let it rot in based on someone else's opinions and because they clap for you.
46:03
So, the purpose and never left.
46:03
The other day someone told me I fell out of my purpose. I lost my purpose. I'm like, no, no.
46:09
Your purpose is inside you. It never left you.
46:11
It was just that outside opinion dictate your decisions.
46:15
>> Yeah, it's when you feel disconnected from yourself, you stop listening to yourself, that you get distracted by other people's opinion is when you think you've lost your purpose.
46:27
>> 100% >> Karla, I wanted to switch into a bit of entrepreneurship, but I want to do this segment with you called this or that. >> Okay, I love that.
46:34
>> And so, I'm going to ask you this or that, and you're going to tell me which one, and then why. >> Love it.
46:38
>> And we're going to go through quite a few.
46:39
So, the first one is do you believe in discipline or motivation? >> Oh, discipline, 100%. Motivation fades.
46:46
Motivation fades when everyone's I'm so motivated. That happens a lot.
46:49
I was super motivated in January to start gym, went twice, motivation died, I'm out, right?
46:55
When people say I'm motivated to start a new diet, but I'm going to start on Monday. Why Monday?
46:58
Why can't you just start Thursday?
46:59
Because as humans, we just decided that Monday was it, or January was it.
47:03
But now, oh, what what is it?
47:05
Oh, we're halfway through our week, and it's almost June, so that means we're halfway through the year, and that means, you know what?
47:11
I'm going to start next year. We're too late. No, motivation fades.
47:15
Discipline Discipline makes you wake up the days you don't want to.
47:19
Discipline makes you run on a rainy day.
47:21
Discipline means you're up until 5:00 a. m.
47:24
and you haven't slept, and you haven't had any food, and you're still going because you have to finish the task. Discipline, 100%.
47:29
Olympic athletes, you know, and you probably talked to so many, and it's discipline. >> Yeah, I agree.
47:36
>> They don't They don't want to go and swim on minus 2° and train for the Olympics.
47:41
It's And it's going to hurt.
47:42
And that's the same thing with entrepreneurship. It's going to hurt.
47:46
It's not the same physical pain as an athlete, but it's a different kind of pain when you're the entrepreneur not going to pay yourself at first a salary.
47:54
You're going to pay your team first.
47:54
Or you're going to have noodles and and pasta for the next year because you can't afford a lot of things.
48:00
It's a different kind of pain, but it's discipline.
48:04
And if you stick to it, it's it's just like when people post the first time they open an Instagram account, they post once, they post twice, like it's not working. Like discipline. >> Yeah. >> Discipline.
48:14
You're going to get there. You're going to learn. My first video sucked.
48:17
My first videos got like 50 likes. No, no.
48:19
My first videos got my mom, my dad likes, and probably someone else account that followed that day and it was a bot, right?
48:27
But then it just grows and and you and you learn from that.
48:28
It's not immediate, so discipline. >> Discipline.
48:31
Okay, discipline over motivation. Ideas or execution?
48:36
>> I feel like both cuz you have to have a strong idea of what you want to do and not change 10,000 times the idea because sometimes the idea is good, but you have to execute it and change sometimes a lot of things for that idea to work because sometimes we think we know the industry we're getting to, but we actually don't until we're there.
48:55
And we have to do a lot of different things like the path to get there.
48:57
Plus it's the visual and strong.
49:00
So when people say like that idea is bad, it's not bad.
49:03
You just haven't tried one thing for a long time to see if it's working.
49:08
So you try five different variables and you don't know which one's working and you think like mhm it's not working.
49:13
No, just one thing at a time.
49:16
Yeah, I feel like at the same time a lot of people have great ideas, but they just don't stick to it for a long period of time.
49:21
>> I I'm I'm an execution over ideas person.
49:23
I feel like I've seen the worst ideas become really successful because someone executed really well on it.
49:29
>> You see liquid death, right?
49:30
>> Yeah, yeah, of course.
49:31
>> Water, like water making it water bad. >> just water. >> Just how they do it.
49:35
But then Mark Suster that we just talked about, it is not saturated. >> Tony, yeah.
49:39
I mean, I was told podcasting was saturated 7 years ago when there was 700,000 podcasts.
49:44
Today there's 2 and 1/2 million podcasts.
49:49
>> So, I fully agree with you.
49:49
Last one of these, intuition or data?
49:54
>> So, I feel like intuition is data.
49:56
>> Talk to me about that.
49:57
>> Intuition, what is the actual meaning of intuition?
49:59
And for me, intuition is just all the things that you've lived, which is data, which has given you a sense that we don't know how to explain.
50:06
Did you know that when you're a baby, the first organ that is born is your stomach?
50:11
So, when you feel intuition and say, "I feel it. I I feel it."
50:12
is because technically, it started there.
50:16
So, intuition for me is just data that you've lived in order for not to make a mistake or in order to make a good decision.
50:23
So, in my case, a lot of the times, when I started in my career, being a woman, young at 18, managed a political campaign on social media when social media wasn't a thing, it was kind of like, "Who is she? She's young.
50:39
She doesn't have a degree.
50:39
She doesn't have the thing, right?"
50:43
But then, as I started moving, I worked with soccer, which is fully male-dominated.
50:47
Tech is a space that has now more and more women, but when I started, it was me.
50:51
Well, until now, I feel like I work with 100% men on my meetings, on on everything.
50:55
And it's just a matter of like, getting into an industry where you have to believe in yourself so much that you're not drawn apart.
51:03
So, when people give me excuses about, "I'm too young."
51:05
or "I'm this and that or that."
51:07
there's no excuse anymore.
51:09
The path and the information has now been open to so much to so many people.
51:13
I feel like before, if it was set on a book, it was set on stone. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Google came.
51:18
If Google said it, it must have been right. Then Alexa came.
51:23
If Alexa said it, beautiful.
51:23
If Siri came, it must have been true. And now we have ChatGPT.
51:26
If ChatGPT said, the information has been out there all along.
51:31
I started coding when there was no ChatGPT to help me to code.
51:33
Had to go and read, actually read and go to articles and blogs and stuff online to try to understand.
51:40
So, if you really want it nowadays, you can do it.
51:42
Like anything as than So, it's just intuition for me is a must because it's just backed in by the data that you've lived.
51:54
>> Because you do so much of this in your professional life, you're guiding people in their presidential campaigns, you're guiding Fortune 500 CEOs when it comes to their social media strategy, their digital strategy.
52:05
If someone right now wants to start building a social media following, what are the first three things that they should do?
52:12
>> First things, go and search your competitors.
52:16
You know what I love to do?
52:16
I love to go to Google and find not the five stars, but the three stars.
52:21
Because the three stars are giving you a path of where it was almost good, but not terrible. And that's your gap.
52:28
So, go to Google, search your competitors, go to Instagram.
52:33
And on Instagram, I would go even to your page when I started.
52:36
And I wanted to see what people liked.
52:38
It's not going to be the same from you and me because I'm going to do something totally different.
52:42
So, people are like, "Oh, she's copying." Or, "You're copying."
52:45
No, nobody's copying anything because the warm water is already there.
52:46
It's been created, right?
52:48
But, go to your competitors.
52:50
The first time I started my first account on e-commerce, I would go to Google.
52:55
I would see the three-star reviews.
52:57
And then I would go to all the people that I commented, I would go and find them on social media, I would go to their social media page and literally invite them to go see my page.
53:05
So, when people are like, "Oh, it's not working. Nobody's following me."
53:08
I'm like, "But, have you done the work?" >> Mhm.
53:10
>> It's not easy at first, especially if you're a solopreneur.
53:11
So, first, definitely go and stalk. >> Step one, yeah.
53:17
>> Your algorithm is showing you about your same thing over and over again.
53:19
So, you're saturated, that's the way to go.
53:22
So, you not intentionally, but intentionally, your subconscious tries to copy that.
53:28
And you turn out to be something that you're not because you're copying that, right?
53:32
And the biggest idea that I've gotten for other people's brands or our strategies that I've done have come if I'm looking into soap, I would go to nail polish because I would get ideas there and then we would apply it here.
53:43
So, try to make your algorithm show you something else that's not in your industry, because you're saturated with that, that you think that's the path to go and if that's not the path to go, it's done.
53:52
Force your algorithm to show you different things. And third, be patient.
53:57
Because social media today, there's no saturation.
53:59
I started 8 months ago and built a huge platform.
54:03
It's so funny, because it's like the Mandela effect.
54:04
I have people talk to me and say, "I've been following you for years."
54:09
>> [laughter] >> I've been 8 months on social media. Right?
54:11
So, it's just the effect that they saw me so many times that they think they've seen me there.
54:15
But, this is the thing, my path it can be different from you.
54:19
And if you're patient and if you don't have a rush and if you truly believe in yourself and your idea, you're going to get there.
54:25
So, it's just a lot of patience.
54:26
Anything in life is patience.
54:29
Nothing happens in a blink of an eye.
54:31
It's like just getting your body toned.
54:32
Like if you want to go on YouTube and put, "How to get abs in 7 days?"
54:34
And there are a lot of those videos, you're not going to get them, right? >> Yeah.
54:40
>> The muscle builds and the muscle of resilience in business, it's hard, it's tough, but you build the muscle.
54:44
You build resilience, you build character.
54:48
And for me, character is something so important, because today we hear a lot of people talking about success.
54:51
But, what truly is success is who you are as a person, who you're leaving with and the values that you're leaving people with.
54:58
And in your business, if you're a business owner, always ABCs.
55:00
The ABCs is always be communicating.
55:03
And I love that, because if you are communicating with your team, if you're communicating in love, nothing can go wrong.
55:08
I feel like one of the most important things as humans is the lack of communication.
55:15
Because when there's lack of communication, bad things happen. Everywhere.
55:17
It doesn't matter what happens, it's just it just goes bad.
55:19
I had one time when of my team had a bad communication with a business that we were doing and instead of putting a zero, they added another zero and sent the wire.
55:30
So, I was like, "Oh, that's beautiful.
55:31
Okay, what are we going to do about it?"
55:32
It was a lack of communication between teams.
55:33
So, it's just a matter of like communicating And love the same thing.
55:37
Once communication ends, love ends.
55:39
That's something I like to talk about is becoming an entrepreneur is who you're with romantically. It's very important. >> Interesting. Tell me about that.
55:48
>> Who you have next to you can definitely define you because I've seen a lot of very talented people that can't go past that because of the person who you have next to it because they make them feel stuck.
55:57
If you are a woman getting into business, I felt like you have to have someone that is not afraid of you being more than them, maybe.
56:05
Because there's certain stigmas in this life that the man was the one that provided, man was and now we see more and more entrepreneurs, more women who are super powerful by themselves.
56:16
Right now, I have like the most beautiful relationship, right?
56:17
And I see the difference from others because he is happy by my success.
56:21
He's happy to, you know, help me in the ways that he can to make me succeed, right?
56:26
I have close friends who have partners who don't make it easy for them.
56:31
I feel like when you're an entrepreneur, you're marrying the vision.
56:34
You're not marrying the person.
56:35
You are marrying late nights.
56:38
You are marrying an idea that the other person cannot see but has to trust you. >> Mhm.
56:44
>> And when you understand that, everything changes.
56:47
Because when you marry an entrepreneur, you're marrying uncertainty, you're marrying late nights.
56:51
You're marrying those things that having a 9-to-5 might not give you because that's more stability, right?
56:58
But an entrepreneur, ooh, being an entrepreneur is just marrying an idea that might change 10 times and you have to be good with it.
57:05
It might mean that they're going to miss birthdays. >> Yeah.
57:08
>> It might mean that they're in their phone all the time.
57:11
It might mean that, you know, you are on a dinner and you have to leave to take the call.
57:17
And you have to be okay with that.
57:19
Because you're marrying that person or you're dating that person. >> Yeah.
57:22
>> So, I feel like who you are with in this lifetime can either make or break you.
57:27
It is just not about being comfortable with the idea because sometimes like I'm comfortable then so I'm staying.
57:31
Life is not meant to be comfortable.
57:33
Life is meant to be uncomfortable.
57:35
I never want to be comfortable.
57:37
And the other day they asked me in an interview, they said, "But why do you want more?"
57:42
I don't want more because it comes to monetary because I want more money.
57:43
It's because I know that I'm not finished being the woman I want want to become.
57:51
And when you're becoming that, it means you're uncomfortable.
57:53
And for example, you right now entering a new space.
57:54
It's uncomfortable at times because it's more work and it's more things and and you have a beautiful life. >> it on.
58:02
That's That's why we take it on, yeah.
58:04
>> But I can never envision myself being so comfortable that I'm on a Tuesday night I'm like, okay. Now what?
58:10
No, I want more because life is meant to be lived to the fullest.
58:15
Meant to be used so much that, you know, I wake up every day.
58:19
I came here and I was so excited about this because, you know what?
58:24
Once you start living, I feel like in our industry, and you get to enjoy all these cool places and dinners and events.
58:29
I remember the first time I got invited to the American Music Awards after-party and it was a Chainsmokers after-party and I did not know anyone in the industry.
58:40
And [snorts] my friend Jason Richmond, he was at the time of the vice president of Paramount Pictures. And I met him there.
58:45
And we were sitting at this like fireplace and he goes like, "Oh, it's so cold."
58:50
And he goes that and I go, "Yeah, yeah, yeah."
58:53
And he says, "What do you do?"
58:53
And I'm like, "Oh, I'm an influencer. I'm a blogger."
58:56
He's like, "Oh, that's so cool.
58:57
Can you come to my office to Paramount?
58:58
I'm interested in what we can do together." You know?
59:00
Like I was uncomfortable at that point because they were all celebrities.
59:04
I remember like One Direction was there. Like Hailee Steinfeld.
59:07
Like it was so many people that I did not feel comfortable.
59:08
I'm like, "What can I talk to these people about? Like who am I?" The imposter syndrome.
59:13
And imposter syndrome at the end of the day is just you getting to a new level that you're not familiar with.
59:18
It's like getting to an airport where you already know the gate.
59:19
And you already know where you're going to have lunch or you know all these things and you go to the airport and you feel at ease.
59:25
But when you're landing to a new airport, you do not know.
59:28
You're kind of like, "Oh, wait. Wait. Where is the gate?"
59:31
That's kind of what imposter syndrome >> analogy. I like that. >> feels like. It's just another place.
59:35
So, at that time, I remember I was sitting down at this after-party, and I started talking to this guy who I did not know who he was.
59:44
So, I go like, "Oh, and what do you do?" And he's like, "I sing."
59:48
I'm like, "Oh, that's so cool."
59:50
And then my friend goes like, "Oh, you're talking to Post Malone."
59:50
I'm like, "Ooh, I did not [laughter] know how he looks like." You know?
59:56
And this was this really cool thing.
59:56
This is when I met Daddy Yankee as well.
59:58
And I'm like, "Okay, where's where's the guy?"
1:00:00
He's like, "That's the guy."
1:00:00
I'm like, "Oh, that's the guy." You know?
1:00:03
So, it's just moments that you're uncomfortable, and you have to be yourself, and you have to be open up the possibilities of what life can bring to you.
1:00:11
And at this point, I remember in my career, I got to meet so amazing and talented people, and a lot of times, you just see they're humans. >> Mhm.
1:00:19
>> When when you see >> social media, and you see a number, it is just a number. I'm a human. You're a human.
1:00:26
Everyone in this room, we're just normal people. We all have problems.
1:00:31
The only thing that we have different is that we dare to believe in ourselves so much that people believed in us and gave us a fall.
1:00:36
I wouldn't be here sitting if people weren't following me.
1:00:38
Uh you wouldn't be sitting giving me the interview people didn't believe in you.
1:00:43
So, it's just a matter of like, don't believe in the imposter syndrome.
1:00:47
Don't believe it is not real.
1:00:47
It's just believe in the thing that I just said, somewhere you've not been yet.
1:00:50
Which I love the word yet.
1:00:53
You're not successful yet. You are not there yet. It's just yet.
1:00:58
And I have been doing this movement.
1:00:59
I've been going around we we brought it to so many countries.
1:01:01
It's 122 countries we brought it to.
1:01:05
And it's the I Still Build movement.
1:01:05
And I'm launching my book next year, so I'm going to be definitely launching it with you.
1:01:10
But, it's the I Still Build movement is that we're all builders.
1:01:14
In either way or not, we are building something.
1:01:17
And I I love to do this every time I go somewhere and to a different country.
1:01:19
I love to do this part where I put on the screen and I'm like when fear takes over me and it tells you I'm not enough, what do you say?
1:01:27
And people go around and say, I still built.
1:01:31
When and I still doing all these things and people go like, I still built.
1:01:33
And you just start believing I'm a builder. You're a builder. We're all builders.
1:01:39
We're building different lives.
1:01:39
Someone is becoming a mother full-time, that's beautiful. You're building a home.
1:01:44
You're building an idea from scratch that doesn't exist. You're a builder.
1:01:47
You're building a life alongside someone that you're going to spend the rest of your life, you're a builder.
1:01:50
You're building an idea that might exist and you want to tweak it a little bit, that's awesome. You're a builder.
1:01:58
And in this stage of life, we just see that we're I like I said in the same boat in different destinations.
1:02:03
We all have problems, we all have crisis in life.
1:02:07
And I understood the power of time with this because my dad, I'm an only child, my parents have been they are my life.
1:02:15
They are my greatest support. But you know what?
1:02:17
It's something that I understood that they always believed in me.
1:02:20
I always saw them as builders because they built their businesses from scratch.
1:02:24
I always knew what a real entrepreneurship entrepreneur looks like because when I was young, I would go to the office on a Saturday because they were building, right?
1:02:32
And my grandma always told me something is you can do it.
1:02:34
And I remember this you can do it because there was like a little thing on my bed and she would hold my hand and she would let go and she said, you can cross, you can do it. It's the same thing.
1:02:43
The most beautiful thing that you can do in life is believe in yourself so much of what you're building.
1:02:50
It doesn't matter what it is, but it's just believing in what you're building.
1:02:53
And in this moments of you can do it.
1:02:56
Sometimes I do what is called the power pose.
1:02:57
In the power pose, I heard this article about this neurosurgeon who stood up that he was going to do operate on this little girl's brain, she was 3 years old.
1:03:04
And as a neurosurgeon, he said that if he had had like a tiny mistake, the girl would basically be brain dead.
1:03:13
So he said that it was like a 16-17 hour surgery.
1:03:15
He would go in front of a mirror before it and he did the power pose, right?
1:03:19
And after I heard that, I always do the power pose.
1:03:21
So, what is a power pose?
1:03:23
You stand in front of a mirror, you put your arms like Superman, and you lock yourself, you see yourself. >> Yeah.
1:03:30
>> And you see who you really are.
1:03:30
You're like, you know what? Let's do this. Bring it.
1:03:35
They tell me I can't, watch me.
1:03:38
You think I cannot do it? Watch me. And I love that.
1:03:42
Because once you understand the power that is inside you, nothing can break you. >> Yeah.
1:03:48
>> And seeing yourself in the mirror is something that I always ask, "How many times do you talk to yourself?"
1:03:52
Like, no, I talk to myself.
1:03:53
I'm like, no, you are thinking. You're having thoughts.
1:03:59
And there was a Harvard study that said that 78% of thoughts are negative on a daily basis.
1:04:05
So, when I heard that, I'm like, "You're not talking to yourself.
1:04:07
You are listening to your thoughts in mute."
1:04:09
But what if I told you that you stand in front of a mirror and you say, "You know what, Quora?
1:04:16
I'm going to have a beautiful day. You're so powerful. You're so capable. You're breathing.
1:04:20
You get one more chance."
1:04:21
And you put yourself in power pose and you see yourself.
1:04:24
You see the power inside you. >> Yeah.
1:04:28
>> No one that you admire has something different than you.
1:04:32
They just believe in themselves so much that once you stand in front of the mirror and you do the talk to yourself and you do this, ooh, life becomes so beautiful. Ah, I love it.
1:04:42
>> I can definitely say that before I go out on stage, there's really a mirror there because I'm backstage, but whenever I go out before stage, if I'm in power pose, it is so much more easier to go out there and own the stage >> Yes.
1:04:55
>> than it is when you're like just sitting there, thinking about stuff, whatever it may be.
1:04:58
And I love the distinction you made between the thoughts in the mind.
1:05:02
That's not talking to yourself, that's just hearing. >> Yeah.
1:05:05
>> And the big one that I took away there, my favorite type of people are over communicators.
1:05:11
And when you were talking about couples this is how I think about a relationship.
1:05:17
You're in one place, your partner's in another place, and you're driving to the same party tonight.
1:05:22
And your partner leaves a bit earlier than you, you leave a bit later, but you call them up and say, "Hey, I'm running a bit late.
1:05:27
Can you wait for me outside?"
1:05:29
And your partner says, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, sure, sure, I'll wait for you outside. That's cool.
1:05:31
What time are you going to get there?"
1:05:32
You're like, "I think I'm going to get there 20 minutes after you get there." They go, "Great, fine.
1:05:36
Come at 20 minutes after." They're waiting there. You're on the way.
1:05:40
You get stuck in a bit of traffic.
1:05:41
You go, "Hey, look, I'm still 10 minutes behind.
1:05:43
I'll be there in 30 minutes.
1:05:43
Why don't you go inside?"
1:05:45
Your partner says, "I thought you wanted me to wait."
1:05:46
You go, "No, no, no, it's okay, it's okay. You just go inside.
1:05:49
You know, I'm going to be a bit later."
1:05:50
You get there 30 minutes later, you walk in.
1:05:54
The relationship wasn't getting there at the same time.
1:05:55
It wasn't that you were moving at the same pace.
1:05:57
It's that you were in constant conversation and communication and connection about where you were.
1:06:04
And I think that's the communication that's lost.
1:06:08
>> And I love that you're posting on your social media those things that I I did one similar, but it was about traffic and like one is having a baby, one just divorced, one is having all situations in life.
1:06:17
And I feel like that social media, we just see a tiny window.
1:06:21
We don't see the full picture.
1:06:21
That's when we we communicate each other and we we talk to your partner, you talk to your friends, you see you say like, "Oh, we're not so behind.
1:06:27
Oh, it's not that perfect."
1:06:30
I'm like, when it comes to my social media, I want to [snorts] people to leave with a message, not with what I have, not with where I live, not not with anything at all, because my life is not perfect at all.
1:06:39
I understood the power of time and my my dad got cancer and he got diagnosed and there was a moment in life where he's he's wonderful, I thank God, but he got into an exam and he got sepsis from it.
1:06:55
And he was in intensive care for a long time.
1:06:56
And I understood the power of time of the things that I wanted to do.
1:06:58
I'm like, I want to do everything now.
1:07:00
And it's the moments when you understand all these things, right?
1:07:03
As an only child, I feel like when they ask you, "How is it to be an only child?
1:07:07
Was it tough when you were a kid?" No.
1:07:10
So, when you are an adult and you realize that everything is up to you.
1:07:16
So, it's just a matter of like how you can communicate.
1:07:17
Everything's about communication.
1:07:18
Communicate about the beautiful things you can tell a person. Why wait?
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If you are in love with someone, say it, even if you're afraid.
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Have you heard that Grey's Anatomy line? It's beautiful.
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It's like Eric Sloan that just passed away.
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He has this beautiful line where he says, "Say it.
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If you're in love with someone, say it, even if you're afraid, even if it's not the the result that you want to hear, say it."
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And I feel like that's life. Go for it.
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Dare to say it in a meeting.
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I heard this amazing story about the guy that invented Vitamin Water.
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And he went to Coca-Cola and basically said, "I have the next hit product."
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And he literally sold the idea of having like water with flavors.
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And he got paid off like 4 billion, I think, if I'm not wrong.
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So, it's just a matter of like going, communicating, dare to do it.
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The worst thing that can happen is a no, and that's fine, you know?
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But it's just a matter of believing. Communicate yourself. Say that you love.
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Say what you don't like as well, because in the best communications, it's saying the uncomfortable things. >> Yeah.
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>> People don't want to hear uncomfortable things, but it's what makes you grow in a company.
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And people have to come and say the things that you've been doing wrong.
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Nobody wants to hear that.
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It's going to make you grow, or it's going to make you bankrupt if you don't hear that, all right?
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So, it's just a matter of communication.
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Life is all about communicating in every aspect of it. >> Mhm. >> Well said.
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Carl, I want to thank you, first of all, for traveling 30 hours >> My gosh. >> to be here. This is the dedication.
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I wanted to point it out because you've been talking about dedication, you've been talking about discipline, you've been talking about putting in the work, talked about overnight success.
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For you to travel 30 hours to be here, to be on the show, I think that is the longest anyone has ever traveled to be on the show.
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So, I want to honor you for that.
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I want to thank you for that.
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Uh be so grateful for that.
1:09:01
And we end every episode of On Purpose with a final five.
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These questions have to be answered in one word to one sentence maximum. >> Okay.
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>> So, Carl Centore, these are your final five, brought to you by State Farm.
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Question number one, what is the best advice you've ever heard or received?
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>> So, I think there's just a quote I really like and it's a winner is just a loser who tried one more time.
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So, I don't stop at failure. >> I love that. Great advice.
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Question number two, what is the worst advice you've ever heard or received? >> Follow your purpose.
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>> [laughter] >> Because well, at the end of the day, a lot of people just say like go follow your purpose, but purpose comes with a lot of dedication.
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So, I feel like that's incomplete advice.
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So, I would just say follow your purpose, but know that it's not going to be easy. And that's the thing.
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Just purpose sometimes is not enough. >> Absolutely.
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Question number three, when do you know that a relationship is over?
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>> I think a a relationship is over when the admiration dies.
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You have to admire your partner for the good and the worse, you know?
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I was just talking to my friend who's in the studio with me, but it's a matter of like when you get married and they ask you in in good or in bad and sick doesn't help.
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That's the priest saying like the cute version, but what if I told you and I heard this the other day, it's like what if they amputate three of your of your members?
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Would you still love her?
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It's like ooh, it makes you think.
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What if we bankrupt and we have to start over?
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I just heard Ian Somerhalder talking about Nikki Reed and that they were eight figures in debt and how they pulled through that. That's not easy.
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Financial debt is not easy, but it's just a matter of admiration.
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If you admire your partner and that dies, I think it's over.
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>> Question number four, how do you define a good friend?
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>> I feel like a good friend is always happy for your success.
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I have a group chat with two of my friends and before I got here, one is in Shanghai, one is in Buenos Aires and they all woke up at the same time to see me get ready in my makeup and for me, they were happy for my success.
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So, if your friend is happy for you, you have a good friend because they're not jealous of you and they're not afraid of your success.
1:10:59
>> Fifth and final question we ask this to every guest who's ever been on this show.
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If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be? >> Respect.
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If you respect each other, that's it.
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You don't need anything else.
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Respect means you have heard one another's opinion.
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Respect means that you respect their time.
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I respect so much people's time because it means that you value their time as well as yours.
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Respect means that you can respect your partner because you respect that maybe they don't have a good day and that doesn't mean that you know you've lost it all.
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Respect means that in your team you respect them with who they are, with their ideas, with their values.
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So if there could be one thing that I think the world would be better off with is respect each other.
1:11:42
>> Karla Santana, thank you so much.
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Everyone who's been listening and watching wherever you are, whether you're at work, at home, please tag me and Karla on TikTok and Instagram with your best moments.
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The parts that you're going to try and apply, the parts that you're going to try and live by, the parts that you're sharing with a friend.
1:11:58
Karla, thank you so much for coming on [clears throat] the show. >> been a pleasure.
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>> I'm so so thankful, truly grateful and it's wonderful to finally meet you.
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I'm wishing you all the best for your >> God bless. See you.
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>> may come your way and >> Thank you.
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>> continue to help so many people around the world. Thank you so much.
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>> It's been a pleasure and for everyone who's listening just God bless you.
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Keep believing in yourself.
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You are enough and I'll see you next time. >> Thank you so much.
1:12:19
Thank you everyone for watching. We'll see you soon.
1:12:21
If you loved this episode, you'll love my conversation with Airbnb founder Brian Chesky on how to tap into your creative potential and the number one thing people get wrong about success.
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>> The best people in your life will be people who see potential in you that you didn't see in yourself. And I often wonder